Back to Veterinarian's Hospital
by The Threat
Summary: A series of one-shots, in which Doctor Bob treats other patients...
1. Chapter 1

Nurse Piggy is examining a penlight. As she holds it in front of her eyes, she accidentally presses the button at the back, switching it on, directly in her eyes.

 **Time for Veterinarian's Hospital.**

Blinded by the light, she drops the penlight, and runs to her coworkers.

 **The continuing stooory of a quack who's gone to the dogs.**

Doctor Bob is just done wiping his mouth with his mask, when he asks, "So who's our next patient."  
"Well see for yourself, Doctor Bob." Nurse Janice replies when she takes away the sheet.  
Underneath the sheet, is a black cat, wearing brown pants, white gloves, and nothing else.  
"Helloooooo Nurse." The cat speaks.  
"Awww..." Nurse Piggy says, "what a cute little kitten."  
The cat takes one look at Nurse Piggy, his eyes wide with shock.  
"Goodbyyyyyye Nurse." The cat covers himself again.  
Doctor Bob taps his mouth with his finger, while Nurse Piggy is appalled.  
"Why... I don't believe it!" Nurse Piggy raises her hand in rage.  
"Hiiiiiya!" She slams her hand down on the bulge under the sheet, but instead of an "ouch" from the cat, there is a loud cry of pain from Nurse Piggy. She retracts her hand, rubbing it incessantly, hoping it'll ease the pain.  
"Huh?" Doctor Bob is confused. "What just happened?"  
"Let's take a look, Doctor Bob." Nurse Janice says, as she pulls the sheet away.  
Instead of a cat, we find a large rock under the sheet.  
Nurse Piggy looks away from them. "How did that happen?"  
"Well, it looks like she solved the patients problem, Doctor Bob." Nurse Janice remarks.  
"Why?" Doctor Bob questions. "What was he here for?"  
Nurse Janice replies. "A kidney stone."  
Doctor Bob and Nurse Janice roar in laughter, while Nurse Piggy shakes her head.

 **And so we've come to the end to another Veterinarian's Hospital. Tune in next week, when you'll hear Nurse Piggy say...**

"Where is that kitty?! I got a bone to pick with him."  
Doctor Bob takes Nurse Piggy's broken hand, examines it, while ignoring Nurse Piggy's cries.  
"Yep, about three of them."  
Doctor Bob and Nurse Janice die of laughter again, and after a few seconds, so does Nurse Piggy.


	2. Chapter 2

Nurse Piggy is having a hard time opening a can of tuna.

 **And now, back to Veterinarian's Hospital.**

Hearing the Announcer's voice, Nurse Piggy drops the can of tuna, which explodes upon impact with the floor.

 **The continuing stooory of a former orthopedic surgeon, who's gone to the dogs.**

Doctor Bob looks at the mess Nurse Piggy just made. "Too easy."  
"That never stopped you before, Doctor Bob." Nurse Janice says.  
"Well you don't become a doctor if you like it easy." Doctor Bob quips. "Now, let's take a look at our next patient."  
The three of them walk to the other side of the operating room. There, they find what looks like a large reptilian foot, which had to crash its way into the room through the roof.  
"So what's the patient's name?" Doctor Bob asks.  
"I don't know, Doctor Bob." Nurse Janice replies.  
"Isn't he the third?" Doctor Bob cackles at his own joke.  
"No, Doctor Bob, I really don't know." Nurse Janice picks up the patient's chart. "Here, look at his name?"  
Doctor Bob takes the chart, and looks at the name.  
"What is this?" Doctor Bob wonders. "Is that a reverse C with quotation marks? And it equals a revers L, with more quotation marks? What kinda name is that?"  
"Doctor Bob." Nurse Piggy sighs. "Can't you read Japanese? It says his name is Gojira."  
"Why Nurse Piggy." Nurse Janice is amazed. "You can read Japanese?"  
Doctor Bob shakes his head. "No, the script says she's supposed to say that."  
Nurse Janice's jaw drops, while Nurse Piggy frowns, and Doctor Bob laughs silently.  
"So what's Godzilla doing here?" Doctor Bob asks.  
"Not Godzilla. Gojira." Nurse Piggy corrects him.  
"Yeah, Go Jira, Go!" Doctor Bob laughs at his own quip.  
"He's here for a splinter, Doctor Bob." Nurse Janice replies.  
"Splinter." Doctor Bob picks up a scalpel. "Check."  
He raises the scalpel, and makes a swift move, as if he wanted to jab it into Gojira's foot.  
"No, no, no!" Nurse Piggy stops him in time. "She means he's here to get rid of the splinter."  
"Ah." Doctor Bob replies, then turns to Nurse Janice. "Why didn't you say so? I could have made a mistake that could forever ruin my career."  
"But Doctor Bob, you don't have a career." Nurse Janice says.  
All three of them laugh.  
"Touché." Doctor Bob admits, as he picks up some of his instruments. "Now, Nurse Janice, why don't you play some music, that might sooth him down a little."  
"Music, coming right up." Nurse Janice puts on a leather glove, and picks up a cello.  
"Here it comes." She announces, just before she rubs the snares with her glove.  
An unearthly sound came from the cello, causing Doctor Bob and Nurse Piggy to cover their ears.  
"What the heck was that?" Doctor Bob questions.  
"I dunno. I never tried this before." Nurse Janice answers.  
Just as soon as she said it, the unearthly sound roared again.  
"Stop playing that cello, Nurse Janice!" Nurse Piggy shouts.  
Nurse Janice cocks her head. "That wasn't me."  
Gojira's foot raises itself off the floor, and out of the building. As the three of them look up, they hear that sound again.  
"Hey!" Nurse Janice realizes. "His roar is the same as what I just played."  
"Well, that speaks volumes about your talent." Doctor Bob remarks, causing both him and Nurse Piggy to laugh louder than before.  
Their laughter didn't last long, however, as the entire building starts shaking.  
Nurse Piggy gulps. "I think we made it angry."  
"Well, it could'a been worse." Doctor Bob says. "We could'a made YOU angry."  
Both he and Nurse Janice keep laughing.

 **And so Doctor Bob found a patient with a personality problem almost as bad as Nurse Piggy.**

Nurse Piggy frowns. "Thanks a lot!"

 **Join us next week, when you'll hear Nurse Janice say...**

"Next week?" Nurse Janice questions, "Will we even have a hospital by then?"  
"You got me." Doctor Bob replies. "I'm surprised we still got a show!"  
In spite of the situation, the three of them laugh their lungs out.


	3. Chapter 3

Nurse Piggy and Nurse Janice are looking at the X-ray, which shows a large head with a small brain.

 **We now return to Veterinarian's Hospital. The continuing stooory of a quack who's gone to the dogs.**

"This is incredible." Nurse Janice is in awe as she looks at the X-ray. "How does he live with a brain that small?"  
"The same way you do." Nurse Piggy grumbles.  
"Nurses, nurses." Doctor Bob comes in between. "Don't fight. You might excite our next patient."  
As Doctor Bob laughs at his own joke, Nurse Janice wonders. "And who is our next patient?"  
"Lemme show you." Doctor Bob answers as he pulls the sheet away.  
Underneath the sheet lies a man, wearing a white T-shirt, a black coat, a red tie, a black cap, has a goatee beard and wears a small pair of glasses.  
"Hey you, can you tell us your name?"  
The patient slowly opens his eyes. He takes one look at the three standing at his bed, makes a heavy sigh, then turns his head away. "All right, where's the real doctor?"  
"He left for a real hospital." Doctor Bob retorts, upon which he and his nurses cackle.  
The patient sits up. "And what do you think you can do? You're just sock-puppets."  
"What do you think we fixed with you?" Doctor Bob replies.  
The patient smiled at first, but just as quickly changed his expression into one of curiosity. He told the doctor and his nurses they are sock-puppets, and one of them says that this is exactly what they fixed. What could they possibly mean?  
The patient lifts the sheet off his legs. The patients eyes widen at what he sees. His legs are gone. In their stead, there are two people, both of whom have their hands up in the patient's torso. One of them lowers his hand, just to wave at the patient.  
"Now you're a puppet, just like the rest of us." Doctor Bob says, and everyone laughs.  
Everyone laughs out loud, except the patient, who screams his lungs out.

 **And so, Doctor Bob turned to counseling.**

Everyone looks up, including the patient.

 **Tune in next week, when you'll hear the Critic say.**

"Are you guys hearing this too?" The patient asks.  
Doctor Bob nods.  
"Oh good!" The patient is relieved. "For a moment I thought my brain is playing tricks on me."  
"Speaking of brain." Nurse Piggy takes the X-ray from the light and shows it to the patient. "Explain this."  
The patient looks at the X-ray. "What? That can't be m..."  
He stops as he sees the name that is written on the X-ray. It's Nostalgia Critic. His own name.  
"That... that is..." The patient faints before he can finish his sentence.  
Nurse Janice shrugs. "Looks like he can't live with a small brain after all."  
All three of them roar in laughter.


End file.
